


Out of Immediate Danger

by lha



Category: ER (TV 1994)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Post-Episode S4:E15 Exodus, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:01:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22623739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lha/pseuds/lha
Summary: Set directly after the end of S4:E15 - Exodus.“You know Kerry.  She hadn’t been cleared, she’d just got off the gurney and gone back to work.”Kerry Weaver wrestling back control at the end of the episode makes perfect sense in some ways, but really there was no way she should have been up and about.  This is a look at what might have happened after the end of the episode when it all catches up with her.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

Carter had only just begun to explain everything that Mark had missed when Yoshi appeared on the other side of the counter.

“Yosh! I thought you were on Weaver watch?” Carter said lightly.

“She’s sent me to chase down a missing chart,” the nurse said with a frown.

“You see if you can find the chart, I’ll go say hello to Kerry,” Mark said, pulling his lab coat on. There was still a lot of activity throughout the department but it looked pretty organised. He spotted her coming out of Exam Three and took a moment to watch her before she looked up and saw him.

“Mark,” she said, with clear relief. She looked small, he realised and like her crutch was the only thing propping her up. “Carter has done an amazing job,” she said. “But he’s going to crash and we need to make sure that… there are labs missing and we should… we need to confirm obs… and chase x-rays… and restock the trauma rooms…”

“And we will,” he said, holding his hands up to get her to pause. “I’m here now though, so let’s start with checking your obs and getting you back into bed.”

“I’m fine Mark, we need to get…”

“Kerry,” he said firmly. She pushed herself away from the wall her free hand on the oxygen tank that was clearly not enough to stop her breathing rate being elevated and unsteady. She took a few steps before the arm in her crutch buckled and she only just managed to save herself from falling on the floor. “That’s it,” he said stepping in to offer her something to lean on. “You’re frozen,” he said, his concern rising.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you telling me you’re not cold Kerry?” he asked, glancing round to see if he could catch anyone’s eye.

“I’m fine Mark,” she said.

“Jerry!” he called, seeing the clerk walk past the end of the corridor. “What’s free?” 

“Curtain Three?” he suggested.

“Can you scare up Dr Weaver’s chart?” 

“Not sure there is one Dr Greene,” he said.

“I…” she began.

“Absolutely not Kerry,” he said, taking hold of her upper arm and steering her round. “You’re resps are elevated and I’d bet good money your sats are in the tank even with the O2.” Mark took the tank out of her hand and shepherded her in the direction of the curtain area.

“Can I get a nurse!?” he called as they walked in.

“Mark I…” He wasn’t sure if she was going to protest again or warn him because before she could continue, her knees buckled.

“Ok, I got you,” he said. He scooped her up without much thought.

“Sorry...” she managed.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” he said, as they approached the Admit Desk and people appeared.

“No chart, but I made notes,” Jeanie said holding up an empty glove box.

“Well let’s get them transferred. Sats?” he asked.

“83 on the nasal cannula. 10L non re-breather?”

“Yeah,” he replied, scanning the back of the glove box before putting in his stethoscope. “Let’s get the sats up and then we’ll try another albuterol treatment. Temp?”

“92 degrees, Yosh said, looking up guiltily. “She’s mildly hypothermic. I’ll get some warm blankets.” Given what Carter had said about the cleansing stations that the CDC had set up outside it was no wonder.

“Let’s start a warm saline drip too. “Kerry?” Mark asked, looking up. “I need you to lean forward.” He met Jeanie’s eye as he pulled up the back of the scrub top to listen to her lungs. “Let’s add severe contusions to the chart Yoshi,” he said quietly before pressing the diaphragm onto her left then right chest. 

“She took a pretty hard fall when she started seizing,” the nurse said.

“This one looks like the guard on a gurney,” he said. “There’s nothing in the notes about ruling out a head injury?”

"She was confused when she woke up," Jeanie admitted "But her pupils were reacting and I put that down as post seizure effect."

“Kerry did you hit your head?” he asked, already palpating her skull because he wasn't about to take her word for anything. He could feel her shake her head in the negative and there was no obvious signs of damage that he could feel. "How long was the seizure?"

"Seven minutes," Jeannie replied. “She vomited but we got her onto her side, I’m pretty sure she didn’t aspirate.”

“Sats are improving.”

“Ok, I want a full blood work up, a chest series, and a head CT.”

“I do not need… a CT,” she protested, pulling away the mask. “My head’s fine.”

“Just like you’re not cold?,” Mark asked. “Time to let someone else take charge, Kerry.” He could see her glancing round at the chaos around them. “Trust me? I promise, as soon as I’m sure you’re not causing any more trouble, I’ll make sure that we’re double checking everyone else and restocking all the bays.” The way that she collapsed back into the pillows as she admitted defeat, was another confirmation just how exhausted she was.

Stepping away, he spoke quietly to Yoshi who was still scribbling on the chart. 

“Let’s set up the nebuliser before we send her to radiology but I want a rush on all those results. Stay with her?”

“Sure thing Dr Greene,” she said. 

“Carter!” he called at him. “Did we get a full data sheet on benzene from the CDC?”

“We looked up the differential when Dr Weaver went down,” he said, eyes wide.

“Well let’s see if we can’t get some more details? We’ve got at least one patient still in the ER who is potentially symptomatic.” His quizzical expression passed quickly.

“I assumed someone had cleared her?” the Intern said. 

“Nope, just up and walking around like nothing was wrong. Unresolved respiratory crisis, possible head injury, post-seizure, hypothermic and all. ”

“Hell…”

“Yes, well. I’ve got her back in a bed so let’s get that rundown and make sure we’re not missing anything?”

“On it!” he said already dashing away. Kerry was right, Carter was still running on adrenaline and it was going to run out sooner or later.

Mark looked up from the coffee pot in the lounge when Yosh stuck his head around the door.

“Results are in,” he said, handing over the chart and the films.

“Is she driving you crazy?” Mark asked.

“She’s mostly sleeping. The albuterol’s helping - you want her back on the nasal canula when the treatment is done?”

“Sats?”

“92.”

“Let’s go with the mask,” he said looking at her results.

“Are you going to admit her?” Yosh asked.

“Yes. Yes I am,” he said holding the films up to the light. 

When they stepped out he could hear Anspaugh at the Admit Desk.

“We need to have strong representation in front of the press. Dr Weaver was…”

“Kerry’s a patient for now, Donald,” Mark said.

“I knew she was exposed but Harriet Spooner said she was back in charge,” the older man said, frowning.

“You know Kerry. She hadn’t been cleared, she’d just got off the gurney and gone back to work.”

“Ah. Is she…?”

“Her sats were in the low eighties and she had a temp of 92 when we got her onto a bed.”

“Well let’s just be grateful that you did. Long term complications?”

“Hopefully not,” Mark said. “We’ve warmed her up, her respiration should ease over time and there doesn’t look to have been any complications after the first seizure. There’s a three day obs recommended on benzene exposure though.”

“Well I’m glad it’s you who’ll be telling her that and not me, Mark.”

“Sure I can’t tempt you?” he asked but Anspaugh held up his hands as he backed away.

“Right everyone! I want to run the board in ten minutes and I want to hear that every patient has an up to date chart and that we’ve got labs and x-rays back. Then I’m going to walk the floor and check that trauma, exam rooms and curtain areas have all been restocked.”

“Who died and made you Weaver?” Chuny grouched. He raised an eyebrow. “Okay, okay! Bad choice of words.” 

“Yes it was,” he said

Pulling back the curtain, he half expected to find Kerry half out of bed, but just like Yosh had said, she was fast asleep.

“Kerry?” he asked, perching on the edge of the bed. “Can you wake up for me?” It took a moment before she blinked and turned her head towards him. 

“Mar…?” she said , reaching for the mask.

“Leave it,” he said, pushing her hand away. “Everything’s under control,” he added with a rye smile as she started looking around trying to get the lay of the land. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine. Tired.” 

“I’m not surprised, you’ve had a hell of a day.”

“When…” she swallowed. “When can I go home?”

“Good news first,” he said with a tight smile.”Your head’s clear, there’s nothing ominous on the chest film and your temp is much better.”

“And the bad?”

“I want to admit you for observation.”

“No,” she said pushing herself up. “I just want to go home.”

“Kerry, there’s up to a three day reaction period for benzene poisoning,” he said gently. “You need to be monitored.”

For a minute, he thought she was going to cry which he would have understood, but instead she looked at the ceiling for a minute, taking shallow unsteady breaths.

“Could I get some acetaminophen?” she asked after a minute. “My head’s pounding.”

“Sure I can’t get you anything else? Those bruises are going to smart.”

“A dark room, some quiet and my privacy?”

“Maybe, I’ll try and not a hope, in that order I’m afraid.”

“Then I’ll take a couple of ibuprofen as well,” she said, quirking a half smile behind the mask.

“Done. I’ll try and get a bed upstairs sorted as soon as I can.”

“Thank you Mark.”

“Rest,” he said, reaching out to squeeze her arm before he stood up. Even when he turned back to pull the curtain closed though, he could see she was already drifting off again.

The board was looking pretty good when he ran it down.

“Right, thanks for everything you’ve done today folks. If your shift is over, go home. That means everyone,” he added, seeing a wave of protests about to begin. “Jerry, we are officially back open to trauma.”

“Wasn’t Dr Weaver supposed to be on tonight?”

“Only if I wasn’t here, which clearly I am. Haleh would you take over from Yosh? I don’t think she’s going to get any more mad ideas but let’s keep a close eye.”

“Sure thing,” she said with no hint of the frustration that Kerry often engendered.

The rest of his night was filled with a pretty standard mix of crisis and mundanity but Mark was glad when the morning came round. 

“You heading home Mark?” Doug asked pulling his coat off.

“Yeah, not a moment too soon.”

“How’s your mom?”

“Better than she was and Dad’s in a better place too I think.”

“I’m glad. Drink soon?”

“That would be good.”

“Doctor Greene!”

“Haleh?”

“Would you speak to Medicine?” she asked, clearly angry.

“Why? What’s happened?” 

“I called up to check on Dr Weaver and they said she’s had another seizure. I told them when I went up she was nauseous and that she needed compazine. But heaven forbid they listen to a nurse and now they won’t even tell me what’s going on.”

“Okay, okay,” he said, not entirely sure he was seeing the connection between all of this. “Let me go see what’s happening.”

“Want me to go?” Doug asked closing his locker.

“Nah, I was going to stop by anyway.”

“Secondary seizure?” the other man asked quietly.

“I’ll find out.” They shared a look, a single seizure in the circumstances was understandable but with her O2 sats being monitored it shouldn’t have happened again.

“Let us know?” He nodded in response before throwing his bag back into his locker and jogging towards the lift. Sometimes it was better to just go up in person and see what had been going on.

It was shift change up here too but after rattling some cages he found the resident who had been on duty and a responsible attendant who was taking the day shift.

“Look, she was sitting up and vomiting into an emesis basin,” the resident said as Mark looked through the chart. “She wasn’t emergent.”

“She was vomiting with an oxygen mask on?”

“She’d pulled that off.”

“She was on 15 liters of O2 and only sating at 96. You didn’t think about a nasal canula? Or some compazine maybe?”

“I had another patient going south.”

“How long was she seizing?”

“Three, maybe four minutes,” the resident said. Mark could see from the chart that was a best guess. It had only taken four mgs of ativan and getting her sats back up to stop it but her obs didn’t look great.

“She’s one of our own,” Mark said pointedly. “And even if she wasn’t, someone should have spotted Dr Weaver’s condition deteriorating before she started seizing. She was in a monitored bed for a reason.”

“Agreed, Mark,” said the attending. “We were short a nurse last night, it’s not an excuse but it didn’t help. Ellen, go home. We’ll talk about it when you’re next in.” She turned back to him. “I suspect our staff are so used to Kerry Weaver throwing her weight around that they didn’t think there could be anything wrong if she wasn’t letting them know about it.”

“She’s not always easy,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “But she only ended up in this state because she’s the first one to wade in when someone needs help.”

“She’s good, that’s why she gets away with some of her more egregious tendencies. I’m going to repeat these obs , want to come with me while I rerun them?”

“Sure,” Mark said. 

Kerry was in a bed off the end of the ward, a token gesture towards privacy and he was struck again by how small she looked compared to the fierce Acting Chief. 

“Dr Weaver, it’s Mary Richardson,” she said, pulling up a stool and sitting by the head of the bed. “Can you open your eyes for me?” She did, but it looked like her lids weighed forty pounds each.

“Morning,” Mary said with a smile. Kerry frowned but didn’t say anything.

“I’m just going to listen to your chest if that’s ok?” she asked having checked the monitors. She got a nod in return but had to help Kerry sit up and lean forward even from the elevated bead head. Mark was pretty sure he could hear her wheezing from where he was sitting but her O2 level was above 96% for the first time in the last 14 hours.

“You’re sats are much better but I’m going to leave you on 15L by mask and prescribe some prednisone to see if we can’t ease your breathing.”

“Are you still waiting for a respiratory consult?” Mark asked.

“Yes, I’ll chase them. Are you still feeling nauseous?”

“No,” she said, muffled by the mask. “Mark, I’m supposed to be working.”

“I know, we’ve got your shifts covered. Don’t worry about it.” 

“I’m sorry Mark,” she slurred towards the end, her eyes drooping.

“Nothing to be sorry about Kerry,” he said. “Try and rest, ok.” There were tears leaking out from under her eyelashes as they moved away. “She’s exhausted,” he said once they were back at the nurses station.

“Yes,” she agreed. “Ray, would you call the resp team and tell them that I need that consult now and if they send me a student I’m going up there to drag someone down myself. Lui can you draw these steroids? Ten minute obs for the first hour,” Mary said finishing up the orders on the chart.

“Sure thing Dr Richardson.”

“Could you get her another blanket?” he asked the nurse as she checked the chart. “Her temp’s still a little low.”

“Sure thing Dr Greene,” she said with a smile.

“I’ll go give the ER an update but don’t be surprised if you find one of our lot hanging around.”

“No chart access,” she said firmly.

“Absolutely,” he agreed, holding his hands up. Still, he was hoping that it might do the Acting Chief some good to see that her colleagues were concerned about her, and the team some good to see that she was indeed human.


	2. Chapter 2

************

John couldn’t sleep when Greene sent him away but then he crashed like a ten tonne truck six hours later. His alarm must have been going off for five minutes before he woke up and even then he had to fall into the shower before he felt even half awake.

“Afternoon,” Doug Ross said when he walked through the front doors.

“Very funny. How’s the board?” he asked, shaking the snow out of his hair.

“In control,” Doug said. “We’re short today though.”

“Weaver?”

“Weaver,” the paediatrician confirmed.

“Do we know how she is?” he asked.

“Not here,” he replied, not looking up from the chart he was looking at.

“She had another seizure,” Carol said, scowling at Doug.

“But she’s ok?” he asked following her towards the lounge.

“Mark said she was doing better,” she said reaching for the coffee pot.

“Then why the second seizure?”

“She pulled off her O2 mask to vomit, and her sats plummeted.”

“And no-one up there noticed?” he asked closing his locker door with more force than strictly necessary.

“Mark’s been up,” she said. “She’s exhausted, waiting on a resp consult but stable. And,” she added pointedly, “They’re now aware that she’s not going to be as ballsy as they might expect if something’s wrong.”

“Ballsy?” he asked and she made a ‘well’ gesture on her way back out the door.

It was a couple of hours before he managed to make enough headroom with his patient load to make it upstairs. The nurse on the desk, took one look at him and rolled her eyes.

“No.”

“No, what?” he asked.

“No, you can’t see her chart.”

“I didn’t ask to see it.”

“Ok, well you can see her, if you want to, but if she’s sleeping…”

“Of course.”

“Last bay. She has it to herself for now.”

“Thanks.” he said heading down the ward knowing that he might get paged at any moment. Once he reached the bay though, he paused. When Dr Weaver had gone down in the ER, instinct and adrenaline had taken over and the next few hours hadn’t been any different. 

When she’d cornered him in the corridor when they were moving back in however, he should have taken one look at her and realised there was no way she had been discharged. Not that she had really been admitted, but still. Even now she looked pale and cold, and a hell of lot less intimidating than she usually did.

“Carter?” she asked, waking him from his thoughts.

“The one and only,” he said. “No,” he chided as she pulled the mask aside clumsily.

“Press conference?” she asked once he’d reset the mask.

“It was fine,” he said pulling up a stool. “I followed your advice,” he added with a smile. “How about you?”

“I’m fine, Carter.” He’d seen her working her thirty-fourth hour on, when they’d run out of space on the back up board and the ambulances were queuing out of the bay but this tired was different.

“Can I get you anything?” She raised an eyebrow. “Something to eat?”

“Jeanie’s offered to pick up some things from home. It’s good of you to come, but really, you should get back Carter. I’m fine.”

“Ok,” he said, hesitantly. “But if you need anything, page me - ok?”

“Thank you Carter,” she said and he thought she meant it, he still left reluctantly. 

He was working on a rule out MI when Malik stuck his head round the door.

“Doctor Carter?” 

“What do you want Malik?”

“I’m going to Doc Magoos.”

“Ok….”

“Dr Weaver, is she a turkey on rye girl?”

“You think I’m the expert?”

“Nope, but I thought you picked up her lunch order last week?” John looked up.

“Soup,” he said. “With croutons.”

“Thanks Doc!” he said, turning and heading back out the door.

“Do you want some money?” he asked.

“There’s a collection. We’ll take it out of that,” Lily said. “Proper food has to be better than flowers right?”

“In this place? Definitely,” he agreed. “Can I get a repeat cardiac enzyme on Mr Doe please?”

The end of his shift came round before he expected because, despite the lack of a major evacuation they had more than enough to keep them busy. Doug was already out the door, and Mark had been caught by an incoming trauma.

“Do you need me?” he asked as they wheeled in the casualty.

“No, we should be good,” the attending said. “If you’ve handed off your patients?” John nodded.

“Want me to go check up on Dr Weaver before I go home?”

“How about you check _in_ with her? But yeah, it doesn’t look like I’m going to get away for awhile. Swing by on your way back?”

“Will do,” he said as the patient was wheeled into trauma one.

“Carter,” Elizabeth Corday greeted him as he waited for the lift.

“Dr Corday. Are you on tonight?”

“No, I just finished actually.” She paused before looking back at him. “I was just going to…” she lifted the takeaway cup she was holding. “Dr Weaver and I were speaking about how hard it is to get a decent cup of tea in this place the other day so I thought I might bring her a cup.”

“I’m sure she’ll appreciate it,” John said, tucking his hands into his pockets. “That eye’s looking pretty impressive.”

“It’s not my first black eye,” she said with dry humour.

“I have no trouble believing that,” John said with a smile. They chatted away until they made it up to the ward.

“Fast asleep,” the nurse at the station said without prompting. “Or at least she should be.”

“Can we...?” he gestured in the direction of her bed. The nurse gave them both a very serious look.

“We’ll be on our very best behaviour,” Corday said, in a tone so earnest that she couldn’t have been entirely serious.

“Go on then, but if you wake her…” the threat followed them.

“I forget,” the surgeon said quietly, pausing just passed the threshold.

“Forget?” he asked.

“How different it is when it’s someone you know.” She seemed to shake off the momentary melancholy and crossed the room clearly in search of the chart.

“They’re keeping it at the nurses station,” he whispered.

“Fluids, steroids,” she said checking the IVs.

“O2 is down to 50%,” John said, checking the gauge connected to the nasal cannula before looking up at the monitor. “Sats look good and her colour’s better too,” he added.

“Resting comfortably,” Corday agreed, taking a drink from the cup she was holding but clearly isn’t going to be appreciated by it’s intended recipient.

“Jerry’s running a book on how quickly she’ll AMA,” John said as they walked back up the ward. It was missing the levitty that he’d intended to say it with.

“It looks like she’s settled in for the night at least.” It was a gentle response.

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just… it’s like you said. Hard when it’s someone you know.”

“Particularly when they’re not renowned for being laid back?” she asked with a gentle smile. “Donald was telling me about her attempt at retaking the ER.”

“It didn’t even occur to me to ask why she was up. Or check that everyone who’d been kept in the ambulance bay was warmed back up properly or…”

“Carter,” the surgeon said firmly. “There were other medical professionals there. They were running the care in the canteen when you were doing thirty two other things. It’s not all on you.”

“I know… just…”

“If it makes you feel better, and I tell you this in total confidence,” she said looking at him pointedly. I had a very similar conversation with Peter earlier.”

“He’s a surgeon,” John said suddenly feeling teary. “He wasn’t…”

“He’s a more experienced physician and he missed things yesterday too. And I didn’t exactly cover myself in glory,” she added when they made it to the lift lobby. “Look, all I’m saying is that you can’t blame yourself; not for the fact that those patients came in the way they did, or that you couldn’t be everywhere at once and certainly not for stubbornness in red heads.”

“I never did have a big enough ego to survive in surgery,” he said after a minute. 

“Hey!” she slapped him on the arm. “Go get some sleep Carter.”

“Yes Ma’am,” he said, turning and offering a wave as he exited the elevator.


	3. Chapter 3

*****

Donald hadn’t visited Kerry the day after the incident, partly because he hadn’t wanted to make her feel like he was chasing her back to work, but more because he simply hadn’t had time. So this morning he was going to stop by, before he even went to his office so that he couldn’t get caught up in anything else. The nursing station was empty but a passing med student took one look at him and pointed towards the end of the ward. Slowing as he approached, intent not to interrupt anything that would make either of them uncomfortable, he heard the quiet sound of conversation.

“Do you need…?”

“I’m just stiff from lying around too long.”

“You also have extensive bruisinging, Dr Weaver.”

“Are you causing trouble again Kerry?” he asked, entering the room proper.

“Donald,” she said looking round at him with surprise. She was upright and wearing her own dressing gown and slippers which meant she no longer looked quite so much like a child wearing their parent’s clothes as she had when he caught sight of her in the ER.

“Dr Anspaugh,” said a resident whose name he couldn’t put his finger on.

“Good morning ladies, I’m not interrupting am I?” he asked, putting his briefcase down and folding his coat over the back of the chair.

“Not at all. I’ve just been sleeping for most of the last 36hrs and I would really like to stretch my legs.”

“And I’d like you to finish your respiratory treatment and take the prescribed analgesics.” Donald glanced at the monitors which looked good, and then looked properly at the patient. “Weaning down the O2?” he asked.

“She’s down to 20% and her sats are holding but she’s due another nebulizer.”

“I’m not refusing treatment,” Kerry protested. “I just need to get moving.”

“Alright, how about I accompany Dr Weaver on a short perambulation around the floor. After which she will return and without complaint accept her physician’s suggestions?”

“And eat breakfast.”

“Kerry?”

“Agreed,” she said with better grace than Donald had really expected. 

He busied himself with her chart as she extracted herself from her lines and monitors.

“I’m sorry to have been difficult,” she said quietly when they were alone. He turned so that he could see her as she rolled her shoulders and twisted first one way and then the other, trying to loosen up some of the kinks in her back. “I’ve never been very good at doing nothing.”

“I’ve seen you be difficult Kerry and this didn’t even register on the scale,” he chided with a raised eyebrow. “And you’ve not been ‘doing nothing’ you’re allowing your body to recover, to heal. Something I’m quite certain you’ve highlighted to any number of patients before now.”

“Do as I say, not as I do,” she said absently, slipping on her crutch and stepping away from the support of the bed. “I tend to seize up, if I don’t keep moving,” she added and then to prove her point, her first step in his direction was slow, ungainly and clearly painful. 

Letting Kerry set the pace, Donald strolled beside her as they walked along the ward, her gait easing a little as they did.

“How did the incident review go?” she asked as they rounded the corner.

“It went well. There are some learns of course, but given the nature of the incident and that the senior member of staff in the ER was incapacitated early on, County showed itself in a good light. Your team did good work.”

“They did,” she admitted warmly. “I should have realised what was happening. If we’d realised faster and I hadn’t just rushed in…” 

“Kerry, from what Carter says, it’s a miracle that it wasn’t worse. Those contaminated patients shouldn’t have been allowed to leave the scene of the fire but they did.”

“Hmmm,” she said, clearly not about to let herself off the hook so easily. “Can you let me have a copy of the report as soon as it’s done?”

“I’ll make sure you get a copy,” he said. “Once you’re discharged.”

“I can rest, and do admin Donald.”

“Or you could just rest,” he suggested.

“Not if you want the ER Year End reports in time for the Board meeting,” she countered. Kerry was nothing if not diligent but she’d inherited a disaster when she’d stepped into post not that long ago and year end was always tight. “I’m sorry, they should already have had them done but with Mark away…”

“Your paperwork is already streets ahead of every other Department Head,” he said and he wished he could say it would wait, but truth was he needed it done.

“If someone could stop by with my files and the laptop from my office, that would be helpful,” she said, with a reticent half a smile. “I’m not sure I’m up to a covert mission to the Admin floor.”

Donald’s amusement at her unfaltering focus, was tempered by the fact that she clearly wasn’t exaggerating. Three-quarters of the way round the route they were following she was obviously flagging and while her gait seemed to have eased he could hear her wheezing. Still, when they made it back to her bed the fact that she actively requested an analgesic he considered a promising sign.

As he had predicted, as soon as he stepped within six feet of his office, Donald’s schedule had run away with him. A series of emergency surgery’s left him covering the ER in the afternoon though and he was actively relieved to get a trauma page and an excuse to get out from behind his desk. Mark was finishing intubating the patient as he arrived and Del Amico handed him an x-ray. 

“What’ve we got?” he asked. The rundown was concise, clearly surgical but stable now that the ER team had performed their usual magic. “We don’t have a theatre open now, but we’ll take them up as soon as we do. It should be a fairly simple procedure.”

“Mark?” Doug Ross asked, sticking his head through the door. “Have you seen the chart review trolley? Yay high, overflowing.”

“Fourth floor,” Mark replied pulling off his gloves. “I caught Yosh, wheeling them into the lift earlier.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a sign Weaver’s feeling better, or if she’s still not right.”

“That’s Dr Weaver to you Dr Ross,” Donald chided with a frown.

“I think it’s a good sign,” Mark said. “Have you seen her today Dr Anspaugh?”

“I have and she’s doing much better. She’s ah… negotiated access to a laptop and all her files.”

“I’m glad we’re not the only one’s she has managed to railroad.”

“That woman doesn’t know the meaning of R&R,” Ross said with an eye roll, turning and walking away. 

“It might be hard to tell some days, but Doug’s not a total ass. He doesn’t usually even look for the trolley until Kerry’s been on at him for six hours.”

“He’s something,” Donald said. “Other than your chart review being taken care of, how are you coping down here?”

“We’re managing. The department has been running an attending down for two weeks now though. It highlights how thin the resourcing is at that level.”

“I’m aware and Kerry had already put it down for discussion at the next staffing meeting. If you need support to cover the next few days though, let me know.”

“Thanks, but barring any more disasters we should be ok. Do you think they’ll discharge her tomorrow?”

“Saturday I think,” he said. “It’ll be late tomorrow before she reaches 72hrs post exposure and they’ve learnt not to trust her self-reporting.” Donald could see the practicalities flitting across the other man’s face. “When is she scheduled in after that?”

“Sunday, long day. There’s a moonlighter on Saturday night but she’s got Carter and Del Amico on so that should be ok.”

“Well that sounds like a good plan for now at least. In the meantime, if you were to be visiting Kerry say anytime after five-thirty this evening, you have my permission to remove all hospital property and files.” Greene looked at him for a moment before he smirked and tilted his head in shared acknowledgement. “They need to be kept secure overnight after all.”


	4. Chapter 4

Kerry woke with a start, the sensor of an electric thermometer in her ear. 

“Good afternoon Dr Weaver. Right where it should be,” the nurse added with a smile having checked the gauge. 

“What time is it Natalie?” she asked, pushing herself back up the head of the bed from where she’d slipped.

“One-thirty,” she replied and Kerry blinked in surprise. She couldn’t be sure when she’d fallen asleep over her paperwork but it must have been at least two hours ago. “Now you have a choice for lunch,” the nurse continued. “You can have a patient tray, or whatever the surgical med student brought from that Thai place round the corner.”

“Option two please,” she said, fighting the urge to blush. There seemed to have been a regular stream of food and visitors since she’d woken up and though she wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, she certainly appreciated not having to rely on the hospital catering.

“Mystery Thai it is,” said Natalie. “Just think - this time tomorrow you’ll be free!” That was a glorious thought she had to admit; her own bath, her own bed, her own front door to shut on the world. 

Given that it was at least partly her own hubris that had resulted in her admission, Kerry was trying to be a good patient but patience and idleness had never been her greatest strengths. The first twenty four hours were all still a bit of a blur and though she was certainly feeling much better now, she couldn’t really ignore the fact that she kept falling asleep at unexpected moments. Still, she was sat-ing in the high nineties on room air and was free from most of the other paraphernalia she’d been hooked up to. Progress was good, she’d be back to normal in no time and as long as she got these figures sorted before Monday, it wouldn’t have been a total waste.

As soon as she opened the polystyrene box her lunch came in, she knew that the mystery benefactor was Peter Benton. To be fair to him, the salad was delicious as well as clearly nutritious and she found herself trying to identify the components so that she could recreate something similar. As soon as she was done though, she moved the box aside to make space on the tray for her laptop, determined to make some progress. She was still deeply absorbed in sorting through data, when there was a tentative throat clearing from the entry to the bay.

“Can I help you?” she asked the slightly terrified looking young volunteer.

“I… uh…” he took two steps forward and held out a desert container and a takeaway cup.

“Thank you,” she said, taking them and the empty glove packet they seemed to come with. The boy ran away with barely a glance in her direction and she was left shaking her head after him. When she read the message scrawled on the empty packet, her bemused expression spread into a smile.

_Kerry, Forgive this rather slap-dash note, and my courier. I was hoping to bring them down myself but I’ve been called into surgery. When I heard that Peter had sourced your lunch, I had a feeling that you might need some carbs, fat and heaven forbid some sugar - enjoy! Elizabeth_

She shouldn’t really, she’d done nothing more strenuous than take a slow and uneven turn around the floor in days. After momentarily considering offering the slice of chocolate fudge cake to the next nurse who came by, Kerry decided that it would be rude to Elizabeth not to follow her instructions. It transpired that the tea and cake (or at least the caffeine and sugar) were enough to get her through the afternoon and the last of her paperwork without any unscheduled naps.

The following morning, Kerry was up,dressed and packed before rounds and trying desperately hard not to climb the walls. She understood the value of process but today she would gladly have thrown it all out the window just to be allowed to finally leave.

“And last but not least,” Mary Richardson said, guiding her gaggle of Interns and residents round the corner. “Dr Weaver. Who has her last set of obs?” she asked clearly enjoying stringing this out. Her perfectly satisfactory results were then discussed before Mary asked what the discharge instructions were.

“Patient is to be made aware that if they have any shortness of breath then they should attend the ER straight away. Respiratory follow up in 7 days.”

“Excellent,” the attending said scrawling her signature across the bottom of the chart. “Congratulations Kerry, you are officially free.”

“Thank you,” she said, standing up and swinging the overnight bag Jeanie had kindly gathered for her, over her shoulder. “And goodbye.” Picking up the last stack of chart’s she’d reviewed, she slid her crutch onto her arm and headed out.

Stepping off the lift and back into her own familiar domain was reassuring and comforting in a way Kerry couldn’t explain. Haleh was the first person to spot her as she walked towards Admit and she got a long and appraising look. 

“Morning Haleh,” she said eventually, continuing to move forward.

“Good morning Dr Weaver,” the nurse said. “It’s good to see you looking better.” 

“Thank you. I’m feeling much better, and more than ready to get out of this place for a few hours,” she finished with a smile.

“Kerry?” Jeanie asked, coming out of curtains. “Do you need a lift home? I’m sure I could…” She held up a hand to stall the PA.

“Thank you, but my car’s still here from Tuesday. I just need to drop these off,” she said, dumping them on the counter. “And pick up my coat.”

“Good to see you, Dr Weaver,” Jerry said with more affection than she might have expected.

“You too Jerry,” she said, picking up the mail from her intray and sorting through it before putting it all back. Heading for the lounge and her locker, she raised a voice to call behind her, “Feel free to tell whoever’s on tonight that I’d appreciate a clear board and an empty waiting room when I come back tomorrow.”

In many ways Kerry was deeply practical, but she had to admit that her aesthetic romanticism was the only reason she’d ended up in a building with so many steps up to the front door. She could manage stairs well enough, but they took more effort and if she was tired, or sore both of which were true today. Standing on the sidewalk, she looked up at her front door and the compacted snow that was covering the steps. Clearing them was one of the chores she asked her lodger to do, but Robyn was away on a research trip this month and while she’d salted them before she’d left for work earlier in the week, the weather hadn’t improved since. Adjusting the shoulder strap of her overnight bag, she braced herself and carefully started working her way up to her front door. 

Closing the door behind her, Kerry leant back against the heavy wood and took a moment to enjoy the quiet. The urge to go straight to the sofa, or even to crawl into bed was strong and slightly concerning. She’d hoped some fresh air would help blow the cobwebs away but all she really felt was cold. Brushing aside the weary melancholy, she headed for the bedroom and unpacking her bag, set about sorting her laundry. On her way to the utility room, she made a note to thank Jeanie again, particularly for having the foresight to empty the kitchen bin when she’d stopped by earlier in the week.

When she’d completed the bare essentials of housekeeping, she heated up some soup which proceeded to go cold on the coffee table as she dozed through The Sound of Music. The noise of her pager going off infiltrated Kerry’s subconscious and she almost rolled off the sofa when she woke up enough to realise what it was. The message was from Carter from the ER number.

“Is the world ending Randy?” she asked when the clerk answered her returning call.

“Doctor Weaver! I heard they’d turned you lose - you missing us already?”

“I got a page,” she said rubbing the bridge of her nose. She could hear Carter in the background and could almost see him rushing across to the desk with the grace of a newborn giraffe.

“That was me,” he said in a rush.

“Yes, I got that from the fact that the page had your name in it Carter. Would you care to explain what it is that you needed?”

“Needed? Ah… nothing really. I just… thought I’d do some remote obs.”

“Carter,” her warning tone was it seemed, back in full effect.

“I know but… No shortness of breath? No dizziness?”

“Only when someone paged me unexpectedly and I sat up too fast,” she said trying to stay calm. In some ways she really was touched by his concern but he was as overeager as a puppy still sometimes.

“Did it pass? The dizziness?” he asked, and she found herself chuckling and shaking her head.

“Carter, I’m fine.”

“Ok,” he conceded. “Hey, I was thinking - I’m on tomorrow too. I could come by and pick you up if that would be helpful?” The doorbell ringing saved her, and him, her answer to that.

“That’s my door Carter, I’m hanging up now. I’ll see you at the hospital tomorrow morning.”

“The flowers are from the department…” she heard him say as she was hanging up.

“Good evening Doctor Weaver, “ the smartly dressed delivery man said when she’d unlocked the front door.

“Good evening,” she replied when she had caught up with herself. He was holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a bag with the name of a very high end Italian deli on it. “Uh, thank you,” she said, accepting them from him.

“Have a good weekend,” he said with a cheery wave, leaving her to watch him go.

Once she’d put the flowers in water, she went through the bag which was full of all sorts of interesting things and a very good bottle of wine. This would be the last of it, and if it wasn’t she’d have to tell them to quit but it had been a pleasant surprise. Opening a container of olives, she looked at the bottle for a minute thinking that she really ought to save it for a special occasion before fishing out a corkscrew and a glass. She sliced fresh bread and ate it with figs, mozzarella and prosciutto and it all tasted amazing. Turning on the stereo, she started a bath running and poured herself another glass of wine before putting the stopper in the bottle. 

The bathroom was warm and full of steam when she returned and slightly tentatively, she took a deep purposeful breath, holding it until she couldn’t any longer. It was fine, there was no reason to expect that it shouldn’t have been but the relief was still palpable. Sliding into the water, she tried to let the tension flow out her, to let go the memory of the sensation that she couldn’t catch her breath, that something was wrong. It had happened so quickly the first time; she’d been aware of the smell of the chemical and of the patient in front of her, of the impending issue that their arrival might have caused and then a moment, a fraction of a moment where something was wrong and then nothing.

She remembered being cold, and then waking up in the canteen and there was oxygen and a nebulizer and Jeanie talking quietly. She had been desperately trying to figure out what had happened, what was happening now and then, just as the worst of the crisis seemed to have passed,, it was like someone had turned the power back on and suddenly all the circuits in her brain were connected again. She’d known what needed to happen and so she’d just gotten up and gotten on with it. Or tried to. Even before Mark had appeared like a mirage in the desert she’d known she was struggling, but she’d missed too much already by that point, leaving an Intern in charge of a major incident.

Mark had been right of course, she had been in no state to be treating patients or to do much else really. Everyone was being so unreasonably nice about it all though and somehow that made her feel worse. She had wanted nothing more than to go home and if that wasn’t going to happen, then to be out of the ER where she was surrounded by her team, most of whom tolerated her at best. By the time she had been transferred upstairs to be admitted, she felt so awful that she couldn’t even put a finger on why. Haleh had seemed to understand though and passed her an emesis basin, saying something about letting them know. 

Kerry had tried her best to avoid using it but it hadn’t worked for long. She’d pulled away the mask just in time to start gagging and though there wasn’t much more than stomach acid for her to bring up the heaving continued. She could remember the sound of the pulse ox alarm going off; of knowing that she was in trouble. It had been slower that time, the fear had time to build as she’d lifted a poorly responding hand to try and move the o2 mask back into place.

It was ok though, she thought forcefully, wiping the tears away from her cheeks and taking another slow, deep, shuddering breath. It had been ok and there was no reason to think that there would be any long term complications or consequences. She was fine, and everyone was still being surprisingly considerate, generous even. But stil, she sat in the bath and cried until no more tears would come. Then she swallowed her last mouthful of wine, showered off and washed her hair before falling into bed.

Waking naturally after a long and peaceful sleep was a wonderful and rare thing. Kerry rolled onto her side, turning her head to check the time, smiling when she found that it was ten minutes before her alarm would be going off. Stretching, she breathed deeply without thinking about it and started her mental list of everything she wanted to get done today. When she walked into the kitchen, the scent as well as the sight of the flowers greeted her. They’d opened up overnight and they were even more glorious. It seemed like another good sign. They were a lovely gesture, like the quiet visits and the food, the offer of a lift home and the unnecessary phone call. It was easier to take them at face value this morning and she was determined to try and remember that. It didn’t, couldn’t, change everything but it was worth remembering all the same.

An hour later, when she walked through the ambulance bay doors and rounded Admit she took one look at the board and sighed.

“Alright,” she yelled, pulling off her coat. “What’ve we got?”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this and I'd love to hear your thoughts!  
> Lx  
> @LHA_again


End file.
